Self Harm Counselling in Surrey

Counselling for Self Harm in Surrey by Kevin Rymill

If you self harm and are looking for some help, Kevin Rymill’s self harm counselling in Surrey can help. Alternatively you may care for a young person who harms themselves and are seeking help for them. You may have mixed feelings about your wish to stop harming yourself or wonder if it is actually possible.

If you want help to understand the intense feelings or wish to eventually reduce or stop harming yourself I am a sensitive professional integrative Psychotherapist in Ottershaw, Surrey with extensive experience of working with self injurious behaviour.

Each person is unique and I work with people as individuals to discover why they hurt themselves and at the pace that they feel comfortable with.

Symptoms of self-harm

Self harm has been on the increase for some years now and is now seen as a way of coping with difficult, confusing and painful emotions. It is different from suicidal feelings although it is possible to have both together. It is not helpful to see it as attention seeking but the behavior can have a significant effect on how a person views themselves and how they are seen by others.

Self-harm injuries are often inflicted on parts of the body that can easily be covered up, i.e. upper arms, legs, stomach, so family and friends are unaware of the problem. You may also go out of your way not to display any flesh that shows injuries, such as avoiding swimming and covering up on hot days.

You could benefit from Self Harm Counselling if you have any of the following feelings or behaviours:

  • Intense emotions that make you want to harm yourself
  • Confusing thoughts whereby you only feel real if you harm your body
  • Shame or upset about the marks you make on your body
  • A feeling of relief if you harm yourself

Getting help for self-harm

Many people find that the most effective treatment for self-harm is counselling, where you can talk through your problems, and establish what is at the heart of your need to self-harm. I provide safe counselling in a non-judgemental, confidential environment which is different from family and friends who are often deeply affected by the actions of someone who hurts themselves.

Can self harm Counselling help?

Yes it can.

Self-harm is often a way of coping with problems. Some people use it to express feelings they can’t put into words, distract you from your life, or release emotional pain. Afterwards, you probably feel better or relieved for a little while. But then the painful feelings return, and you feel the urge to hurt yourself again. Understanding the cycle of feelings that drive the self harm with Counselling can give you relief. If you want to stop but don’t know how, I can help.

There can be a connection between self-harm and trauma. It can also be your way of coping with feelings related to past abuse, flashbacks, negative feelings about your body, or other traumatic memories.

An experienced self harm counsellor can help you develop new coping techniques and strategies to stop self-harming, while also helping you get to the root of why you cut or hurt yourself.

If you are looking for a safe, confidential environment with an experienced Psychotherapist to help you understand and change some of these ways of being at your own pace then please review this web site to see who I am and what I do. Alternatively you can contact me on 01932 702662 or send me an email in confidence to

My practice is based in Ottershaw, Surrey close to Addlestone, Chertsey, Woking and Weybridge and with good links to the M25 and A3.

And remember my initial consultation is free with no obligation to continue to give you time to decide if counselling is for right you.

Self Help Area You may find useful if you don’t feel ready to call me yet

Self-harm is a way of expressing and dealing with deep distress and emotional pain. As unusual as it may sound to those on the outside, hurting yourself makes you feel better in the moment. In fact, you may feel like you have no choice. Injuring yourself is the only way you know how to cope with feelings like sadness, self-loathing, emptiness, guilt, and rage.

There are different ways of distracting yourself that can be used, depending on the kind of emotion that triggers the self-harming. For example, if a person is sad or unhappy, doing something soothing, such as reading a book or taking a bath can help. For those who want to feel pain, there are other methods that do not cause physical or lasting damage, but can provide the release, like biting hot chillies or squeezing ice.

Exercising vigorously can help as it increases endorphins and tires you out or putting your energy into something creative like playing music or singing loudly.

It is often useful to put off harming yourself and doing another activity for just 5 minutes and seeing if your urges change.

Although these can be very useful tips it is worth keeping in mind that they are more effective if you are also working with a therapist to deal with the underlying reasons you harm yourself. The key is often in identifying and finding other ways to understand and cope with your confusing feelings.

If you hurt yourself to release tension or vent anger

  • Exercise hard by running, dancing, or hitting a punching bag
  • Punch a cushion or mattress or scream into your pillow
  • Squish Play-Doh, clay or use a stress ball
  • Rip something up(sheets of paper, a magazine)
  • Make some noise (play an instrument, bang on pots and pans)

If you hurt yourself to express pain and intense emotions

  • Paint, draw, or scribble on a big piece of paper with red ink or paint
  • Express your feelings in a diary
  • Write a poem or song to say what you feel
  • Write down any negative feelings and then rip the paper up
  • Listen to music that expresses what you’re feeling

If you hurt yourself because you feel disconnected or numb

  • Call a friend or family member you like
  • Get in the shower and change the temperature from hot to cold frequently.
  • Hold an ice cube in the crook of your arm or leg
  • Chew something with a very strong taste, like a chilli, mints, or lemon peel.
  • Go online to a self-help website, chat room, or message board

If you hurt yourself to calm and soothe yourself

  • Take a warm bath or hot shower
  • Cuddle a dog or cat
  • Wrap yourself in a warm blanket
  • Massage your neck, hands, and feet
  • Listen to calming music

Alternatives for the cutting sensation

  • Use a red felt tip pen to create lines where you might usually cut
  • Rub ice across your skin where you might usually cut
  • Put rubber bands on wrists, arms, or legs and snap them hard instead of cutting or hitting

And remember that even intense feelings pass and it is not possible to feel like hurting yourself all of the time. The trick is to get through the current emotion that makes you feel you want to harm yourself.

You wouldn’t treat another person the way you treat yourself. You deserve to treat yourself better.


Book online to make an appointment for the treatment of your choice, or for an initial consultation.


Click the link below to book online, or alternatively you can contact me directly.

Practice Location

Located in Ottershaw, Surrey, my practice is situated near to the M25, Woking and Weybridge, and is easily accessible to those in the surrounding areas.